Touya's Letter
by Arianna Salcedo
Summary: Touya writes a letter to a person dear to him


DISCLAIMER: All characters used in this fic are the sole property of the   
creators of CCS (the group CLAMP) and their publisher. No copyright   
infringement was intended by the writer. No money was earned by the poor   
writer from this.  
  
Touya's Letter  
  
Yuki,  
  
How long have I known you? It seems to me like it was just yesterday   
we met you.I was hurrying on my way to school with Sakura. We literally bumped   
into you. Both Sakura and I apologized and you just said it was fine. You   
introduced yourself with a sweet smile on your face, saying your name was   
Yukito. A snow rabbit, beautiful and elusive. It suits you with your golden   
eyes and shimmering silver hair and your ability to be friendly and at the same   
time shy. You had mesmerized me. You captivated my heart and soul at that   
instant. I tried to cover up the effect you had on me by being grumpy. Still   
you weren't put off and wanted to be my friend.  
  
You and I became best friends. I told you all about myself : my dreams,   
fears, desires...all the thing that matter most to me. A thing I had never done   
with anyone not even with Kaho-san. I gave you all the keys to my soul without   
you knowing it. You could destroy me a single word or action. You had broken   
down all my defenses. You had rendered me helpless.  
  
Do you still remember that time in summer camp when we had to learn all   
that survival in the forest crap? I had wanted to strangle our teacher then for   
putting you in danger. Why, I asked myself, would he send a delicate person like   
you into the middle of nowhere all alone just to get the stupid firewood! Sure   
nothing really bad happened but you still got hurt. You had bruises and cuts as   
result of it. Right then and then I was fuming mad and could've done what I   
thought to do but you stopped me. You told me that you weren't the only one   
who went on an errand like it. That it was part of everything. That the archery   
training you had was almost the same in hardship. Still it was a pleasure when   
our 'beloved' teacher twisted his ankle and got replaced for the rest of the   
summer. In that time we were together at summer camp I realized how much I   
really care for you. I couldn't tell you. I was afraid that I might lose   
you...that I might lose even our friendship.  
  
But now... Damn the consequences. Daisuki da,Yuki.  
  
I wish to protect you. To shelter you from the deceit and cruelties of   
this world the way I try to do with Sakura... but it seems I have failed. You   
were hurt and saddened. I was too blind that time.  
  
You said you were going somewhere. To a friend you haven? seen for a   
long time. It was necessary. I asked you how long will you be gone and you   
answered "I don't know." I said, "It's alright. I understand." You answered   
you were glad. After then you and I walked in a companionable silence. Both   
our sadnesses were there for all to see. After that talk, the next day you   
weren't there anymore. I searched for you. Most of those I asked said they   
didn't know where you were. I was stupid I forgot to ask you your   
destination. Baka. Baka. Baka. I counted the days until you returned. It was   
just three days. To me it was like an eternity.  
  
I was really glad you had returned. But it seems you haven't at all.   
You're different. Far from the Yukito I've come to know and like a lot. It   
seems that nothing good came out of that trip.  
  
It had been days since you've returned but you keep on avoiding me for   
no reason at all. You're not at our usual place during our breaks and you   
haven't been accompanying me on my way to school and back home. I go to your   
place but you are not there. I try to talk to you during classes but you say so   
little. What is wrong? You are so unhappy.  
  
Yukito, why are you sad? You keep on denying it but I can see it in your   
eyes. They mirror what is within you. In them I can see the purity of your   
heart. Your thoughts and emotions. In all the time we had been together, the   
only thing I saw reflected in there was happiness. But now pain and sadness   
glimmer in their depths. What is wrong, I keep asking myself. Why will you not   
tell me. I care so much about you. It hurts to see you like this. Your usual   
happy self is gone.  
  
In those times you were not around, what had happened? What had made you   
like this? I can't bear to see you like this. I must know. Had I hurt you   
unintentionally? If so, please tell me. I can't go on not knowing what pains   
you. Did someone you love leave you? Please tell me. I have bared my soul to you   
so many times, why can't you do the same? I want to help you the way you helped   
me so many times since we've known each other. Please don't shut me off from   
your life. Not like this.  
  
Why must this happen now, when everything has turned out so wonderfully   
for me. I'd love to share with you everything that had transpired while you   
were away: how Sakura helped my father and grandfather reconcile, on how happy   
Sakura was with Li Shaoran among other things. Yukito...Sakura misses you...I do   
miss you, too. A lot. Not only your mere physical presence but the inner you.   
You have been with us, yes, that is true, but only physically. But in spirit and   
hear you are lost to us.  
  
The person I met who was full of life's little pleasures and joy...the   
person with a ready smile and bright countenace whose mere presence was enough   
to brighten one's day...he is gone.  
  
I'd pay any price to see that person return.  
  
Always,  
Touya  
  
***Owari***  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Gomenasai minna if it sorta went out of the continuity. I   
can't seem to keep track of the TV eps shown here in our place so I don't   
know now what's been going on in CCS. It is also hard to get a copy of the   
manga. Touya is somewhat in a mush mood in this one. Sorry ^^:: I think I   
might do a sequel, it seems to be required. Unless my usual laziness takes   
over again. This fic is for Tin Mandigma who had pestered me to write a fic   
for a long time now. 


End file.
